The Jump
by Miss Jina
Summary: Bella's jump off the cliff in La Push ends in tragedy when Victoria finds her before Jacob, now 20 years later as a vampire Bella has forgotten why she even jumped, this story is about her struggle to remember her human past and the purpose of her jump.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: While brainstorming for one story I came across an idea for another one. This is my first Fan Fiction fully in Isabella Swan's POV (This character is not mine but has all rights to Stephenie Meyer author of the Twilight series as well as all the other characters mentioned). If I get reviews I may continue this was just a spur of the moment idea and I just went with it. I may not get to it right away but when ideas flow I will be adding more. **

The Jump

What if life was kind? What if life didn't bring pain? What if your life suddenly ended from 1 jump, a jump that wasn't meant for death but meant for fun?

I can barley remember those days, the days where I was alive. Now I live with the regret of the jump, the jump that should have killed me. She had gotten me it was almost the revenge she had dreamed of, but not quite. I was still here and she was the one gone torn to pieces by my protectors, who have slipped my mind. I can't even remember my reason for jumping. I can still feel the wind rushing through my hair and the cold spray of the water as I fell to my own death. They searched for days and weeks Charlie would never let them give up. When the time came they let him down easy, there was no more searching just a funeral.

It was the first time I had ever seen my father cry there was no body just a collage of pictures. They were pictures of me happy and alive. My Mom Renne although married to another kept my Father in tact. I watched every day as his pain grew to a depression it led to Mom moving back to Forks to protect my Father while her Husband toured the United States playing ball. My family was the only part of my human life that carried over and that I remembered.

A familiar face danced in my head for several years now it had to be at least 20, I can't remember who the face belonged to or why I would even see it. I tried to fill the memories as best I could but there was nothing there. The voice to the face always rang in my ear with the words "It will be as if I'd never existed".

Why I had to live this life was beyond me if I could have chosen a route I wished I would have truly died. Instead I'm doomed to walk this earth as a vampire all alone with no one to turn to.


	2. Remember Me?

**A/N: So I was extremely inspired to write this story after watching a youtube video that someone made about new moon. The song and the video got me thinking about Edward leaving and what if she had really ended up alone… here's a link to the video that inspired me… .com/watch?v=jlMD0U09_Pg**

Remember Me?

It was hard watching him he sat on my bed with the cactus I had brought from Arizona from when I had first arrived to Forks. I stood still in what once was my closet and is now where I spend most of my time. Through the tiny creek in the door I watched him every day. This was the only thing familiar to me. My father was starting to look older then he should his dark hair faded a bit and I noticed a few grays in his mustache. Although he grew older every day his face never changed.

"Bella I miss you so much" he would squeeze the small pot which held the plant. I watched as a tear dripped down his eye, he clearly was not past my death. I so many times wanted to reach out to him and tell him that I was here. His head lifted when he heard the doorbell ring, he reluctantly placed the cactus back on the desk where it had been for 20 years and wiped away the fallen tears. I rushed to the window which faced the front of the house after he had shut the bedroom door. I looked down to see a yellow car sitting in my driveway. I stood there for a while until I heard two sets of footsteps making their way to my room, I quickly went back into hiding and a familiar scent made its way into the room.

The girl standing next to my father was petite with short brown hair she was wearing ballet slippers and a beautiful gray sundress. I watched as she peaked around my room.

"Alice you haven't changed one bit" my father spoke to her like hadn't seen this girl in years.

"Charlie you haven't either" she told him with a smile. Was she flirting with my father? Who was this intruder and why was she in my room? I watched her closely as she walked past the closet and stopped.

"Of course I changed I'm old now" he let out a small laugh I hadn't heard him laugh in years. What kind of power did this? I took another whiff of her, she wasn't human she was another one of my kind, another Vampire. I watched her closely as I noticed her catch on to my scent. I had hoped she wasn't here to kill my father.

"Wow this room still smells like her" the girl said. My mind raced as I tried to think how she could have possibly known me.

"It does" my father said sadly.

"I'll let you visit Bella for a while" he smiled at her and shut the door softly behind him.

I watched as she delicately twirled around my room, touching everything that was once mine. She sat herself down on my purple comforter and patted it with her hands. I stepped back a few inches and that's when it hit me, the bar where my clothes used to hang. It made a loud noise and I watched as she quickly within less than a second appeared right outside the closet door. I slid over silently to a pile of clothes that were still there, I quickly buried myself under them. She opened the door just a crack more and then closed it again. I heard her leaving and rushed once again to the window. Maybe I should follow her and see where it would lead. She knew who I was and wanted to visit me. After 15 minutes of watching and waiting she appeared again outside of my window, as she walked toward her car she waved back toward the house. Her head suddenly looked up toward me room, I quickly ducked and slowly lifted my head back up but she was already in her car.

I followed her scent for a few miles as I ran through a familiar part of town that I hadn't been in for the longest time. A house all alone in the middle of nowhere suddenly appeared it made me feel at home as I approached it. The house had wood siding but it mainly consisted of several windows. I watched the yellow car pull into the garage off to the side. I snuck swiftly behind each tree getting closer to the house. I finally got as close as I could without getting to close for anyone to see me. I began to hear voices one of them sounding extremely familiar.

"Alice I know where you went" his voice sounded angry.

"You can't stop me from doing what I feel is right, I wanted to pay my respects to Charlie, Edward" the small female who had been at my house spoke to him.

"I don't understand why you did it, you know exactly how I feel." this guy knew who I was too?

"Edward listen to me something strange happened while I was there" she must have heard me in the closet. I didn't hear anything but silence but I felt the tension between the two.

"It was almost like her presence still lingered, like she wasn't really dead at all almost like she was hiding out in the closet" I heard him laugh.

"You amuse me Alice you do, now if you'll excuse me I would like to go hunting I can't believe you guys told me to come back here" he seemed angry as I heard a door slam. He finally came into view I looked closely, his skin was pale and his light brown hair was perfect and yet messy at the same time. I watched as he quickly began to run north. I decided to follow him his scent was strange yet attracting me to him. I quickly but silently followed him as far as he went, until he stopped. He crouched down waiting so I stopped too. I watched as he placed his nose in the air smelling it carefully.

"Bella" he whispered. I felt his voice rip through me like a thousand pieces of broken glass shattering. I didn't answer I was too afraid my only option was to quietly run the other way, which is what I did.

I went back to my room my Mom's car was back and I heard her soothing voice talking to Charlie. I lay down on the bed and placed my arms behind my head as I listened to them talking below me.

"One of Bella's old friends stopped by today, Edward Cullen's sister" I heard him say the name with anger.

"Oh was he with her?" my Mom sounded a bit edgy herself.

"No thank god, she says they are back in town for a while and she wanted to come pay her respects" Charlie sounded like he would choke at any moment.

"Charlie dear don't work yourself up now why don't you get some sleep we won't mention that name around here" she said. Why was this guys name causing so much pain to my parents? I didn't quite understand what was going on? I wanted so badly to find out. The entire night I listened to the sound of Dad's snoring it was like music to me now because hearing either of my parents made my days worth it.

The next morning I heard a knock at the front door. I shifted in the bed and walked toward the window again. I looked out one of the square frames and that's when I noticed a shiny silver Volvo outside. I watched it for a long time ignoring the voices downstairs.

"Chief Swan" I finally heard his voice again.

"Edward Cullen get off of my property before I get out my shot gun" I heard him yell. Seconds later my Mom was running to the door calming down the both of them.

"Sir I know you want to blame me for your daughter's suicide but …."

I didn't want to kill myself is that what everyone thought? I remember only jumping for fun it was because those other guys were jumping. I stared out the window only focusing on the past. The day I jumped was a distant but well known memory. Then I remembered them looking for me, first a boy around the age of 16 black hair and dark skin, all of them had dark skin. Then I heard the voices.

_"Jacob she's not here man we should go tell Charlie" the voice sounded a little bit older then the others. _

_"She has to be I was supposed to be protecting her she has to be here" the guy named Jacob broke down in tears. I don't' remember where I was at this point all I could remember was the pain and fire throughout my body. How no one could hear my screams of pain was beyond me. I felt like I was in a dark and cold world and no one could save me. _

I focused back to the sound of the voices below.

"Edward it's not that we hate you it's just best if you leave, Charlie is still not coping well, we are all still a mess although it has been 20 years we weren't supposed to loose her so quickly" I heard her tear up as she spoke to him.

"I just … I would like to say my goodbyes too, I never properly got the chance" I heard the hurt as well in this guys voice.

"Only for a few minutes though please" I didn't hear my father anymore Mom must have told him to go lay down for a while. Once again another vampire was coming up to my room to say goodbye to me. Once he had shut the door to my room I was hiding again in my closet. He walked over to the bed just like the other one named Alice had. He placed his head on the pillow where I had just been laying and put his arms behind his head too. He looked down his face filled with pain, it looked like he had seen someone laying there next to him and he was watching them sleep.

"Bella if you're here I wanted you to know after all of these years I haven't forgotten, and I haven't let go. I almost died when you did just like I had always told you, but I'm still here miserable walking this earth as a monster, a monster without the only thing that every mattered to him" he let out a big sigh and pretended to stroke someone's hair. It really was the guy in my head when I closed my eyes. Who was he and why did he love me? I also wondered why my parents thought he was the reason I jumped. As much as I tried I couldn't remember. He was there a lot longer than I had expected, about an hour or so had past his eyes were closed and he looked to be asleep. I quietly made my way over to him his eyes were still closed tightly as I approached him. That was until I heard my door open and I vanished quickly under my bed.

"Edward" her voice was caring as usual. I heard him shift and stand up. I saw his legs as they walked toward the door. I heard my mother cry a bit the two of them stood there for a few seconds, I peaked up and she had embraced him in a hug. Mom looked fragile but never showed it, she was still young and nothing about her appearance had changed. I watched as they pulled away from each other.

"Thank you for allowing me to come here" he said sincerely.

"Sure Edward, you take care now" they both walked out and shut the door. I got out from underneath the bed and watched as he just as Alice had turned to the house and looked up at my room. This time I didn't duck, I didn't hide I watched him as he noticed me. He stood there only for a minute and then proceeded into his car he must have thought he was imagining things. I turned to the bed and there was a CD there that hadn't been there before. I picked it up the vibe it had given me reminded me of something. I walked over to the desk where my old CD player sat. I found a pair of headphones in one of the drawers and plugged in the old CD player. I placed it in and listened carefully. A soft familiar melody flowed through my ears, it sounded almost like a lullaby. I began to feel a hole that hadn't been felt in years. It was coming back with the sound of the music on this CD. I quickly shut it off and didn't move I just sat there trying to remember where I had heard this once before.


	3. Time Heals

Time Heals

Without a doubt the winter months were the darkest, they passed with ease just like I hadn't ever existed. The family that came to visit me was still at the familiar yet strange house. Every day after making sure Charlie was good I would rush over there, hiding behind trees and listening to any sort of memory that might come clear. Mom went back to Jacksonville her husband hurt himself badly and was done for good with baseball. She was bringing him back to Forks and they would live a few houses down from Dad.

January was a cold month it never bothered me much though. I couldn't stand being around for Christmas so I always went on a long week hunting trip. My instincts had told me never to attack a human being. I was always searching for animal blood somehow I was well trained and ready for this life. I had guessed it was my destiny.

I found myself standing at the edge of the cliff, the one in which caused my "death". I stood at the highest point and looked over the edge, the water today was a lot calmer then I had remembered. I watched off into the distance and closed my eyes.

"Excuse me Miss?" I heard a deep male voice say. I turned around I remembered that face from somewhere. He had dark skin and short dark hair. He reminded me of the guy who had not wanted to give up when my body was not found. The guy who had long black hair appeared in my head and suddenly became the guy standing in front of me. My brown hair blew in the wind and I turned to him, his eyes widened it was just him standing there no one else was around.

"Bella?" he examined every part of me from my now golden eyes down to my good old converses and worn out jeans. I didn't move and I didn't speak I heard a deep growl in his chest as his nose crinkled.

"I'm sorry but you can't be here Miss" he went back to calling me miss after knowing who I really was not even a few seconds ago.

"You know who I'm?" I finally spoke to him, my voice sounded like beautiful music.

"No your not her, you're the reason I still phase, you're a blood sucker your not my Bella" he said. I looked at him strangely why did he call me his Bella?

"Is your name Jacob?" I questioned. He looked frightened that I even knew his name. I had remembered from my memory of that day the other guy calling him Jacob as he broke down crying for me.

"How did you know that?" he watched me careful both of us not moving an inch.

"My name is Bella, Isabella Swan" I informed him. His mouth dropped suddenly and he didn't say a single word.

"Bella is dead" he finally spoke. I shook my head no and kept my eyes directly on him.

"Look I don't know who you are but I know that I'm this Bella that everyone knows and I know none of you" I explained. He moved a bit closer.

"You don't smell like her" he told me. I laughed a little bit.

"That's not what those other vampires said"

"Other Vampires?" he questioned. This conversation was taking a turn for the worst.

"Yeah there's a whole family in Forks, two of them Alice and Edward I think their last name is Cullen, they came to my house to say their goodbyes since they never go to" I explained myself. I watched as his body started to tremble, I wasn't sure if it was out of fear or anger. Before I knew it the guy who once was Jacob practically exploded his clothes ripped everywhere. A big russet colored wolf stood only a few feet in front of me. I backed up a bit almost losing my balance and plunging back into the ocean. He moved forward a bit growling and then turned away from me and ran off into the distance.

_(New Moon page 325)_

_With another sharp tearing sound, Jacob exploded. _

I watched as the human memory I saw faded and reality suddenly set in. "Jacob Black" I mumbled to myself. I questioned why he would be angry about these Cullen's coming back to Forks. What was the big deal anyway?

I decided to disappear from La Push before another one of those werewolves decided to attack me. I quickly got myself back home, Charlie's car was gone he didn't drive the cruiser anymore he retired a few years ago and bought a tan Cadillac. I walked to the side of the house where another memory of my human life appeared. It was my truck, the red old beat up thing. It now had no tires on one side and almost looked like it had become apart of the ground that it leaned on.

I walked over to it slowly touching the rusty cold metal of the truck, I opened the door slowly luckily it opened. I sat inside the angle the truck was on was a bit uncomfortable but it didn't bother me. I placed my hands around the steering wheel and held it tight in my hand. A memory of the first time I had driven it here in Forks. It was my first day at Forks High School I remember pulling in to the parking lot everyone watched me. Everyone knew me yet I had no idea who any of them were. I came back to reality when I heard and smelled someone stalking around the truck. I felt a snarl in my chest as the noise grew closer to the front. I placed my hands on the window and tried to look down. I jumped back when a familiar beautiful pale face watched me through the window. My eyes grew wide it was him the guy again, the guy I was supposed to remember. I still hadn't though I had no idea why he even cared who I was.

"Bella" his voice was soft and confused. I backed away toward the door which was almost buried but I was still able to open it.

"Bella is that you I know it is, your scent…" I quickly opened the door and squeezed out.

"Why does everyone know me?" I backed away against a tree behind me. He cautiously made his way around the truck in one swift movement. He wore a gray shirt with blue jeans and polished black shoes.

"Bella you don't know who I'm?" his voice sounded hurt. He tilted his head and watched me. I wrapped my hands half way around the tree still facing him.

"No" I replied in a whisper. His eyes looked watery but I knew he couldn't cry.

"I should have never left you, you would still be human" he began to inch forward I tried backing away forgetting the tree was there. I tried to swing myself around the tree but ended up tripping over the roots on the ground. I haven't been clumsy since I was a human, I fell to my knees.

"Bella it is you, you are still as clumsy as ever" I felt a soft touch on my shoulder as I stayed down on my knees.

"Please go, I don't know who you are I want to be alone" I told him, however I did regret every word I said.

"I still can't hear inside your head, I know it's you please remember Bella please" his voice broke at the last please. I put one hand on the tree and picked myself up I turned to the vampire standing right in front of me. He was close a little too close for comfort.

"Can I remind you?" his lips were now only centimeters from mine. I turned my head as he tried to plant his lips on mine but only got my cheek.

"I'm happier not knowing anything" I looked up at him his eyes filled with more hurt then before.

"It really is as if I didn't exist, my words they worked well" he nodded his head. The words he spoke were the ones that I heard echo through my head when ever I would see this strange face.

"I'm sorry I bothered you" he hesitantly turned and jumped over my truck running far off into the distance. I was a monster who had forgotten something that was so important to him. I felt my world come crashing down I should have never stayed in Forks after I became this it's haunted with memories that I can't even remember.

That night Mom came back with her husband Phil, Charlie offered my room so that Phil would be comfortable and not on the couch. He had gotten a lot older himself and was walking on silver crutches. I stayed in the closet as my Mom walked around the room. She looked down at the desk where I had left the headphones and stereo plugged in. Phil was passed out snoring peacefully on my bed. She touched the headphones.

"Charlie must have grabbed these" she said to herself. She took out the headphones from the CD player and pressed the open button. It lifted and inside was the CD that was left there. She stared at it carefully I watched as she turned the volume to a low setting and shut the top. She pressed play and the soft lullaby played again. I closed my eyes and saw his face again he had something to do with the song that was playing. I watched as Mom swayed gently to the music twirling around the room like she was dancing.

"This song sounds just like you Bella so beautiful" she whispered. I wanted to jump out of the closet and tell her I was here with her but if I did that she would think she was going crazy. I still looked the same after 20 years except my features were a bit more perfect which came with the vampire territory. I heard a knock at the door with the CD player still softly playing she opened the door.

"Hey Charlie I'm sorry was I being too loud?" she questioned.

"No not at all however I did hear the music you were playing" he peaked in the door.

"Oh is that your CD? I found it in there with the headphones plugged in"

"I haven't touched that thing in years, it was Bella's it's been empty" he told her. She looked at him with an odd expression.

"It wasn't empty Charlie there was a CD in it" she looked scared.

"Renne don't play these games with me there was nothing in there" he pointed out.

"What if…"

"No Renne just no, I'm going to bed goodnight" he quickly left the room. I should have jumped out just then and said I did it. I was the one who put the CD in there. Edward left it I think he wanted to me find it. Mom walked back over to the CD player and shut it off I watched a tear fall from her eyes.

"Bella I know your out there" she sighed and made her way to the bed where Phil had slept and tucked herself gently in next to him. I waited until they were asleep and I walked over to Mom and stood over her. I let my cold hands touch her skin, she shivered for a moment. I ran my hands through her hair carefully not to wake her.

"Bella… Bella is that you?" she questioned lightly. I could tell she was still dreaming.

"It's me Mom I'm here and I love you and miss you dearly" I whispered. Before she opened her eyes I ran to the closet, I watched her. Her sad face grew to a small smile as she looked around the room.

"I love you too" she whispered as she curled up into a ball and fell fast asleep.

There I was in a familiar meadow a few days later. I took a blanket from Charlie's closet and placed it on the ground. I had also grabbed a book from my bookshelf "Wuthering Heights" After reading a few pages the memory had come back and I realized I had read this book before. Why now was everything from that life coming for me? I looked up when I heard some movement in the brush. I put the book down and crouched into a fighting position. I growled lightly when a small figure appeared in front of me.

"Bella" her voice rang. It was her, the girl who had come to visit me. I sat back down and relaxed. She walked forward to me without any hesitation.

"You are one of us now?" she questioned once she reached the blanket.

"One of you, who are you?"

"Edward said you would say that" she reached out for my hand. I let her take it and she sat down right next to me.

"What happened to you?" she questioned.

"I jumped off …"

"I know that part, I ran to come stop you but it was too late you were gone. I couldn't stay I had to leave to make sure that Edward wouldn't do anything stupid" she told me. Her hands still lightly wrapped around mine.

"Well when I jumped I was bit, she had red hair beautiful flowing red hair and she made the whole ocean look orange, she said something to me about revenge for her spouse" As I talked I kept my eyes directly on her.

"Victoria" she hissed.

"What happened to the vampire that bit you?" she questioned.

"I don't know all I could remember at that point was the pain and the sound of angry wolves tearing her to pieces"

"Jacob" her voice drifted.

"I kind of remember him he threw a fit when my body wasn't found. I can't even remember where I had spent the painful days but no one was able to find me" I informed her. She watched me closely.

"Please come to our house everyone is looking forward to seeing you again" she pleaded.

"I really don't remember any of you" I explained.

"Please just come with me you'll remember trust me" she stood up still having a hold on my hands.

"I can't just…"

"Please" her voice was soft and sweet. She seemed caring and I could tell she wanted me to remember. I picked up my book, leaving behind the blue blanket I had been laying on. We quickly made our way through the thick trees and we stopped at the house. When we walked in I heard a few voices talking. We headed up some stairs and into a room once again with mainly windows. The walls were white and there was a lot of art work on the walls. We entered the kitchen where a group of them gathered around a small round table. The counter tops off to the side were made of wood with a marble top. Everything in the kitchen looked untouched no one had eaten or made food in here for years. I smelled no scent of any human food lingering. A tall thin vampire with blonde and brown hair slowly walked to Alice. She let go of my arm and touched his, they looked into each others eyes for what seemed like forever. Then he turned to me.

"Bella this is all my fault if I hadn't of attacked you…"

"Jasper shh" Alice touched his face lightly and then turned to me. The rest of them watched me closely. There was another one with slick back blonde hair, whose hands were intertwined with a female that had light wavy hair. A blonde female was staring intensely at me as the biggest guy in the family had his arms wrapped gently around her. I smiled at the guy named Jasper.

"Bella you remember everyone?" I shook my head no and she led me to the table. Everyone was quiet the Edward guy however wasn't in sight.

"Esmee, Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie" she pointed to each of them. I watched as Esmee the motherly figure of them all smiled at me with a loving smile.

"Welcome back Bella we missed you" she stood up and walked around the table and hugged me. She pulled away and looked at me.

"Victoria did this to her" Alice explained.

"Is she still alive?" I heard the big guy Emmett asked

"No the wolves got her before she could finish off Bella" Alice explained.

I heard an extra pair of footsteps walk into the room everyone froze. I looked up and he stood there quiet and still. His eyes were focused on me I could tell he wasn't too happy with me being there. Everyone became quiet and waited for his response.


	4. Why

**A/N: Thank you for your compliments on this story, just a heads up I have some dialogue from Twilight and New Moon in this chapter, all rights to it go to the author Stephenie Meyer. Thank you again for reading I hope you enjoy. **

Why

"Why is she here?" his voice sounded angry I backed away and walked right into Alice's arms.

"She was invited" Alice defended me. He let out a growl and showed his teeth in anger.

"Then I guess I'll be leaving now" he started to turn and walk back toward the doorway he came through.

"Edward don't" I heard Esmee say. Her voice sounded strained like she wanted to cry if he was to leave.

"She doesn't remember and she doesn't want to so let it go" his voice was painful to hear. What I had said to him must have really broken him up inside. I felt a twinge of guilt thrust upon me as I watched his face.

"She's here isn't she?" Alice stated.

"But it's not her" he turned his head back for a second and then disappeared. I watched after him and just stared at where he had once stood.

"We're sorry Bella he's been like that since he left you" I heard Emmett say. I turned back to them slowly and watched their expressions.

He was right why was I here there was no point in remembering.

"He left me?" their faces were blank when I responded.

"You don't remember sweetie?" Esmee walked back to me and Alice.

"No" I stood there confused I was the only one who had no idea why this guy Edward was so upset by my presence.

"Here why don't you have a seat maybe we could try to help you remember" Alice said. I looked at her and then around at everyone. I wanted to know who he was, he seemed to love me with incredible passion I wanted that back in my life. I wanted someone to hold me and hug me and tell me they loved me. I wanted what I had as a human all I can remember was the love from my family. I don't even remember any friendships or this romance I had with Edward Cullen.

"I appreciate you guys wanting to see me and help sort things out, I'm not ready to remember anything I'm a lot happier just watching the people around and no one knowing I'm here" I pulled out of Alice's grip and began to walk toward where Edward had disappeared. I had lied directly to their faces and didn't mean to but it was for my own good.

"Bella, we don't want you to feel alone anymore" Alice pleaded with me.

"Thank you I have to leave" I told them. Before they could say one more word to me I ran as fast as I could. I opened the door and began to run down the stairs before I made it to the driveway I stopped short. The scent was strong and I faced back to the house and there he was. He stood there next to the house I froze and didn't move. He began to walk forward towards me until he was right in front of me.

"How is it I don't remember you?" I questioned sadly.

"I don't know but I can't keep running into you like this so I'm leaving again so we can forget this whole reunion thing ever happened" he kept a straight expression on his face. I wanted to cry my eyes out because it was one frustration after another. I wanted to remember him I really did, but my life was a lot less complicated without him.

"Don't leave" I reached out and touched his soft smooth face. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. His hand gently reached up touching mine holding it close to his face. I felt a sudden tingle in my body as soon as he touched my hand. It felt good it felt almost familiar.

"I want to remember you. I was scared everything here reminds me of what I once had, although I don't fully remember it's starting to all come back" his eyes opened slowly. I didn't know what to say and neither did he, all we could do was look at each other and stare into each others eyes like how Alice and Jasper had earlier. I looked into his eyes and began to remember specific moment of my human life. I began to feel a pain not just any pain it was an empty feeling.

_We were surrounded by trees and I remember his topaz eyes as the feeling of numbness entered my body. "It will be as if I'd never existed" the familiar line ran through my head. _

"Why did you do it?" I questioned. He looked confused.

"Do what?" he asked.

"Leave?" he grabbed my hand and took it gently off of his face but still held it with a tight grip.

"It was better for you" he told me. I watched him closely.

"Better for me? Do you see what I've become, I'm a walking zombie of death this is all I ever will be"

"No Bella you are more than that"

"Then you should have stayed I would still know who you are and I would be human or if not I would be happy and my parents would still have me now they have nothing" I began to feel myself sobbing. I pulled away from his grip and backed away into a tree. It seemed that this is how it would be every time we saw each other. I ran my hands through my hair letting it fall lightly and slid down the tree. Once I reached the ground I pulled my knees up to my chest and sobbed uncontrollably.

"Oh Bella" he cried as he was right beside me. His arms wrapped around me and instinct made me lie in his arms and hold him tight.

"It was stupid of me to leave you like this I never thought that you would literally forget about me, I just wanted you to move on to find someone who couldn't hurt you anymore"

"I think I'm in more pain now then I would have been if you had stayed" I told him.

"I want you to remember" he whispered.

"Please, please help me to remember you and your family I need to be around people who know I'm there. I can't hide out in my closet for the rest of my existence. I was starting to get lonely to the point where I was going to find a way to end it" I pleaded.

"You are and always will be my life Bella I will do what ever it takes to make you remember what we had together" he whispered again. The words he spoke were familiar just like everything else had been lately, I felt like he said similar words to me once before?

(Twilight Chapter 15 page 314)

"_You were very deeply asleep; I didn't miss anything" his eyes gleamed. _

"_What did you hear?" his gold eyes grew very soft. _

"_You said you loved me" _

"_You know that already" I reminded him, ducking my head. _

"_It was nice to hear, just the same" I hid my face against his shoulder. _

"_I love you" I whispered. _

"_You are my life now" he answered simply. _

"You stayed the night, you told me that I was your life, after I told you that I loved you, you heard me in my sleep I talked in my sleep, and you used to watch me, but I still .. I still can't remember…" I trailed off hoping to see more of the memory that once had been my life.

"You remembering that is enough to ask for right now" he kissed the top of my head lightly. I froze when he did. His voice was soothing and comforting I just stayed there wrapped up in his arms. It felt good to have someone touch me again, I hadn't had any real contact with anyone in 20 years and I had forgotten what a good feeling it was.

As we sat there he slowly grabbed for something that was in his pocket. I watched him carefully as he pulled away from me slightly. In his hand was a folded picture he unfolded it and looked down at it. He let out a slight smile and handed it to me. There we were standing in my living room I was human. My brown eyes focused directly on the camera there was some fear that lingered in my eyes. His crooked smile seemed like it was forced out of him.

(New moon page 61)

"_You need to smile" Edward murmured. I did my best, and the camera flashed. _

"_Let me take one of you kids" _

I kept my eyes steady focusing on the picture that was in my hands. I looked up at him he had been watching my expression.

"This was taken in my living room, I was using my new camera first I took a picture with my Dad and then you were there" I spoke quietly as he nodded with a small smile.

"Yes it was" he told me. I let out a smile too I hadn't let one of those out for years.

"Bella you will remember everything I will make sure of that I want you to be happy again I want to pick up where we left off as if I had never left" he said. I looked at him and watched him as I spoke.

"Can I keep this?" I questioned. He looked at me.

"It was yours to begin with, I took it with me so you wouldn't have to see my face" he tried to remind me.

"Is it?" I questioned.

"Yeah" he looked guilty like he had committed a crime.

"Why don't you stay with us so you don't have to hide anymore?" he questioned.

"Let me spend one last night at my house I need to say goodbye it will be better that way" I told him.

"Are you sure?" he questioned me.

"Yeah they need to move on and so do I" I explained. He let out a sweet crooked smile and took me in his arms again.

I could barley stand the thought of never coming back to see my parents again. First I watched as my Mom Renne slept peacefully next to Phil. Then I checked in on Charlie, he wasn't asleep. His eyes were focused out the window as he watched the rain fall from the sky. What would happen if I said hello and showed him that I was still alive and still well. I wanted to I wanted to so badly but I just couldn't. I stood in his doorway watching him. I felt someone behind me and turned quickly to see him, Edward standing there.

"I want them to see me Edward I don't want to be dead to them anymore" I whispered. He looked at me with caring eyes. I had seen these eyes and I had known these eyes, but yet they were still strange eyes to me.

"What if we figured something out, I can't leave them" I felt like crying.

"Bella" he shook his head.

"Get me out of here Edward please I can't …" before I could speak again he picked me up off my feet and we silently ran out the door. I stayed in his arms until we reached the outside of where I would be staying, the Cullen's house.

He didn't let me down at first he looked down at me and I looked directly up at him. We didn't say one word to each other again we were just mesmerized by each other and if I could I wouldn't mind staying like this. His eyes were comforting and friendly and I liked that.


	5. An Old Friend

**A/N: Reminder All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, also there are some quotes and scene's from New Moon in this chapter all rights go to Stephenie. Thank you for your comments on this story I finally have somewhere I want to go with it so here it is… and since the link didn't work last time here is the link to the video that inspired me to write this fiction…**

**(****.com/watch?v=jlMD0U09_Pg****) hopefully this works. I hope you guys enjoy thanks again for reading. **

4. An Old Friend

I felt like I had woken from a terrible nightmare, if I actually slept of course. I felt the cool breeze blow through my hair as I searched the ocean for answers. I needed a day to myself and Edward had respected that, so his brother Emmett took him out hunting for the day. I sat on the cliff where I had jumped I didn't tell anyone where I was going I just went. I had been here several times before just to watch the wave's crash against the rocks. The water sprayed in my face when the water was rough, it was still cold and now the beginning of February.

If I could have I would have let some tears fall from my eyes, I hadn't seen my parents in over two weeks and it killed me. I wanted to be around them so badly, I need them as much as I loved being around the Cullen family I still didn't remember anything important and it was frustrating. I heard footsteps behind me and turned around, the guy who had seen me here a few weeks prior stood behind me his hair blew in the wind.

"Decided to come back?" he looked at me, my body was still facing the ocean but I had turned myself so that I could see him. His arms were crossed and he didn't seem happy that I was there. I sighed and turned back to the ocean.

"I'm sorry I'll leave I can sense I'm not welcomed just give me a minute here was the last place I was alive" I whispered the last part but he heard it.

"What do you mean?" he questioned.

"You are Jacob right?" I asked still facing the ocean. I heard him step closer as I hit my foot against a rock.

"Yeah I'm" I turned quickly to see his expression just glancing over my shoulder then went back to facing forward.

"Who are you?" he questioned.

"You know exactly who I'm but you choose not to believe what I tell you" I said remembering the last time we had met. He blew me off like he had no idea, I honestly didn't know exactly who he was but I remember he was there the day I became this.

"Your not who you said I don't choose to believe that, it's just a sick joke" he sounded angry. I stood up and turned to him.

"It's not a sick joke Jacob Black" his last name just popped into my head.

"I'm going to tell Charlie that there is someone impersonating his dead daughter" he turned and was about to walk away when I grabbed onto his shoulder.

"Don't go near my Father" I practically yelled.

"He's not your Father and you are not Bella" he said trying to either convince himself or me I couldn't tell.

"The truck in the driveway you gave that to me" I stood there in astonishment at myself for actually thinking of that. He stood there his eyes locked on what I had just said. He kept shaking his head trying to tell himself that I wasn't her.

_"I swore I wasn't going to get mad, no matter what you said to me. But… I just got so upset that I was going to lose you… that you couldn't deal with what I am…"_

(New Moon, Chapter 13, p.312)

I heard his voice say in my head as I watched directly into his eyes another memory had come into my head of him not wanting to see me for some reason.

"Jacob I'm her and I'm completely freaked out and I have no clue about anything in my human life except for a few broken pieces. Do you want to know why you didn't find me that day? Victoria she got me, she didn't have enough time to kill me because I believe it was you and your friends who stepped in but I was lying there I heard your voice, everyone gave up. I don't remember where my transformation into this took place but I do remember hearing your voice, I remember it all to well Jacob. I've been living in my old closet since the incident I haven't left, I want to tell my parents I'm here but how do I step out in front of them and go hey guys it's been 20 years but here I'm a Vampire your daughter" I took a deep breath as his eyes dropped to the ground.

"I'm scared to death Jacob Black and the only one who accepted me back into his life was Edward Cullen, I can barley remember him at all but he promised he would help me remember it no matter how long it takes" I said. He bit his lower lip and looked up at me I noticed his eyes were glassy.

"Sure run to Edward who left you and then now comes back when you're a vampire what a coincidence. I took you in Bella I cared for you when you were broken, I mended you back together. I fixed you and now you go crawling back to that blood sucker the second he comes back for you" he yelled.

"I don't know why you would care so much" I yelled back.

"You want to know why I care?" he crossed his arms in front of his chest and I began to see the wetness in his eyes appear running down his brown cheeks.

"Go ahead enlighten me" I said.

"Because I was in love with Isabella Swan and I know she felt the same way, but all she could think about when she was with me was that stupid blood sucker Cullen"

**New Moon pg 306 Chapter 13 **

"_Hypocrite? how does being afraid of a monster make me a hypocrite?"_

"_Ugh!" he groaned, pressing his trembling fists to his temples and squeezing his eyes shut. "Would you listen to yourself?" _

"_What?"_

_He took two steps toward me, leaning over me and glaring with fury. "Well, I'm sorry that I can't be the right kind of monster for you, Bella. I guess I'm just not as great as a bloodsucker, am I?" _

I opened my eyes and looked at him for a good minute examining the memory that had intruded my mind. I took a gulp and hesitantly spoke.

"Your right Jacob a hypocrite is what I was then and I'm sorry I hurt you I really am, but I don't remember my past I don't these random memories come to me. So I apologize for everything I did, all I want is to be happy again"

"Which is why you came to me the first time I was just a shoulder to cry on while he was gone" his voice grew a bit louder again.

"I'm sorry you feel that way" I felt myself choke up.

"I'll leave now" I sobbed walking forward. I went passed him bumping into him slightly and as I was about an inch from him I felt his warm hand grab my cold skin. I hissed when I turned around.

"Don't walk out on my life again Bella Swan do you hear me" his eyes were closed and his teeth were clenched together.

"So you believe me?" I questioned.

"I do" when I looked back I noticed a tear streaming down his face I let go of his arm and without thinking wrapped my arms around his body and sobbed. I heard him sobbing silently not enough for me to hear him.

"Hey Bella?" he questioned. I didn't speak I just made a small noise.

"You smell" he laughed a bit. I backed away and looked at him.

"So do you, you smell like a dog, don't you shower?" I let my lips part and I smiled and so did he. His warm smile brought back the familiar feeling I had been longing for.

"Did he really pay you $20 to talk to me?" I questioned with a laugh. Now we were both sitting on the edge of the cliff with our feet dangling over the side. I let my hands rest on the rocky surface and so did he, our arms were touching. I looked over at him.

"Yeah my Dad wanted me to protect you from him so I crashed your prom, well not literally" he laughed.

"And what was I wearing?" I looked at him.

"A beautiful blue dress and for some reason a caste I was told you fell down a flight of stairs because Edward and you broke up and you threatened your Dad to go back to Arizona and Edward and his Father came to find you and your clumsy self fell" he laughed.

"You wore those too" he pointed at the black and white converses on my feet.

"A blue dress and converses sounds like me" I smiled.

"This place brings back the worst memories for me" his laughter faded. I looked up at him as his eyes kept in line with the shoreline on the other side.

"Same for me but I seem to remember most things while I'm here" I said to him.

"That Vampire that we chased away who was she?" he questioned.

"You chased?" I looked at him.

"Yeah the one that you said turned you…" my eyes grew wide. I really couldn't remember exactly why she was after me but the thought of her still being around scared me.

"She's still alive?" I looked over at him.

"I don't know but we thought we got her and my buddy Sam said he saw her a few days later stalking around the waters over here" he eyed me suddenly.

"He chased her away again and we haven't seen her since" I began to feel my throat close up.

"Why are you so afraid?" he questioned.

"I .. I … don't know I just am" I stood up and backed away from the edge.

"I think I should go" I told him.

"Back to Cullen right?" he questioned.

"Jake I had an amazing time today we talked like we have been friends for years and nothing can come between that, now I know that I have you I'd like to keep it like that. Please will you stay my friend Jacob?" I questioned.

"I'll try Bella" he stood up and faced me.

"That's all I can ask, I just I should talk to Edward about her" I said to him.

"Can we meet again tomorrow Bella I'd really like to see you" he looked at me and stepped closer.

"I'll try to come back every day I promise right now I need to head back and find out why she was after me" I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him again.

"Thank you Jacob" I whispered.

"Mmm" he said. I pulled away and started to run, I felt myself stop for just a second and I turned to see him watching me. I waved and turned back toward Forks and began to run as quick as I could.

"Edward" I yelled. I saw him and his brothers standing around the yard I guessed he was waiting for me. I heard someone hiss as I ran forward.

"Woah what's that smell" I heard Emmett say. I looked at him and then at Edward who was staring at me with tense eyes.

"It's Bella she smells like dog" Jasper stalked around me sniffing my scent.

"Were you at La Push?" he questioned.

"I always go there" I said to Edward.

"Well you can't"

"Why not?" I questioned.

"Because we can't be on their land ever" he said to me.

"But I always go there I get most of my memory back by going there"

"Why do you smell like dog anyway?" he questioned.

"Jacob Black" I looked at the three of them as I heard a growl from Edward.

"He's a werewolf now?" he looked at me.

"Alice did say werewolves protected me didn't she?" I crossed my arms and looked into his eyes. They were ice cold with anger.

"Yeah but no one mentioned who these wolves were" he said to me.

"And wait I thought you didn't remember anyone?" he looked at me.

"Edward I swear I don't remember a thing, I go there to think, I go to the cliff where I jumped and he just happened to be there and for some reason I don't remember much about him but I'm starting to remember certain things" I said.

"I don't want you going there" he said in a nasty tone.

"Edward there is honestly no time for any kind of hostility you have with Jacob Black, this is about Victoria" I raised my voice and watched all three of their faces go from angry about wolves to concerned.

"What about her" he looked at me and I took one big gulp and spat out.

"She's not dead" ……


End file.
